Cats get Case of the Blues: Birmingham Report

The word “report”, as used within the title, implies that there is some tale to tell in terms of Sunderland A.F.C. Well if that is the case when you see that very word we may as well skip the first 80 minutes entirely so that I can begin to even touch upon something to inform you of.

The first 45 minutes was rather like taking a Thai bird back to your room only to discover that she has a lot more in common with you than first thought: the result looked simple and easy, but it rapidly became an ugly mess right from the very start. The line up was pretty predictable – Henderson coming in for Cattermole and Richardson replacing McCartney with the rest unchanged from the Liverpool game.

Unfortunately the game isn’t won and lost by comparing the two team sheets to see who looks better and the fact that a game of football would have to do didn’t seem to appeal so much to our squad. Richardson, even if making an intelligent goal-stopping block, had a disastrous first half. Either he was just having a pitiful day or felt rather magnanimous because I can’t remember when a player gave possession away so regularly. The tactics seemed to be long, hopeless balls upfront which inevitable came straight back in what turned into an insipidly sloppy game.

We never really threatened with Reid and Bent rendered obsolete, Malbranque’s decision making on par with a toddlers and even Turner was struggling. Who was going to score first was painfully obvious and it came as no shock when a free kick was dispatched into the Sunderland box and was put away by Ridgewell – courtesy of the non-existent defence. As the 45 minute mark approached, the same thought was in every fan’s head: would it have been the same game if Cattermole was here? I know what I thought.

Half time was absolutely brilliant though; we didn’t give possession away or make rash, pointless challenges and we didn’t concede a second. I obviously spoke to soon on that one as – not wanting to seem inconsistent – we decided to be as shoddy as we were in the first half and gifted Birmingham a second immediately after the restart. I’ve heard that Bardsley is still planted into the exact spot where McFadden turned him like a screw.

The match then became so blasé that I fell into a coma until the 81st minute when, after a triple substitution, Sunderland came to life as one of the substitutes brought a note on revealing to the players that we were actually here to play a football game, not recreate a Greek tragedy. Nine minutes from time we manage to actually get a shot on target, and it ended up in the back of the net. 2 – 1, game on again as incredulous as that seemed. Turner latching onto a Reid free kick and letting Scott Dann finish off the job by turning the ball into his own net.

Here’s the real irony: we should have stole a point after that. Jones headed straight at Hart from eight yards out and Bent missed another sitter, just as painful as that header he missed against Liverpool, which resigned us to defeat. Well, the fact that we didn’t turn up until there was 10 minutes left was probably more to the point but you know what I mean. Let’s hope that was a first and last as far as performances are concerned.

Man of the Match: Me for sitting through it all and not opting to complete a travel jigsaw or Sudoku or something, as well as somehow writing more than three sentences to sum it up.

Result: Birmingham City 2 – 1 Sunderland

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